


Celebrity Crush on a Whole New Level

by theseathemoonandthestars



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: (but everyone gets celebrity crushes), F/M, MJ IS A, STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESNT NEED NO MAN, im a cliche, im sorry, literal spideychelle, upside-down kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-21 23:54:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14925432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theseathemoonandthestars/pseuds/theseathemoonandthestars
Summary: Michelle Jones prided herself on being an bisexual intersectional feminist who didn't need no man (or woman). As it was, she still found herself gushing over pictures of attractive people like Natasha Romanov (hot lethal woman? Yes please) and Shawn Mendes (she had eyes, okay? Even if she wasn't the biggest fan of his music).Gushing happened in secret of course. She had a reputation to uphold. She could just get very serious celebrity crushes. Like the one she developed on Spider-Man.-----First fic? Help me? Leave a nice review?





	Celebrity Crush on a Whole New Level

**Author's Note:**

> Fuck it. Have a nice time reading this trash. I swear, I'm going to look back on this fic in like, a month, and be like "what the fuck was I thinking?"
> 
> Anyway, enjoy.

Michelle Jones prided herself on being an bisexual intersectional feminist who didn't need no man (or woman). As it was, she still found herself gushing over pictures of attractive people like Natasha Romanov (hot lethal woman? Yes please) and Shawn Mendes (she had eyes, okay? Even if she wasn't the biggest fan of his music).

Gushing happened in secret of course. She had a reputation to uphold. She could just get very serious celebrity crushes. Like the one she developed on Spider-Man.

When she was walking down a sketchy alley way (not her best move, but she was on a time limit), and someone just happened to try to mug her, and Spider-Man just happened to save her, she was in awe, with awe quickly being replaced with rage.

"I had that covered! I can take care of myself!" Michelle yelled angrily at the masked man. He replied in a thick Bronx accent.

"I'm sure you did ma'am, however I like to help as much as I can. Got to look out for the little guy, and all that." He said.

"Ma'am? How old do you think I am?" She yelled at him.

"Sorry Mic-- Miss. I try to be respectful." He said. He shifted uncomfortably, and scratched his neck. God that was cute. What?

"There are other people to look out for, Spidey." She said, crossing her arms. "I don't need some man coming into my rescue et I can handle myself."

"I'll try not to bother you again Miss. I'll be on my way now."

He swung away before she could say anything else. That was her second time meeting Spider-Man (the first of course, being the decathalon trip to D.C.)

The third time she meets Spider-Man, she's at a bank. She's taking out a loan, and needed to go to the bank to get it approved (who knew it was so hard to get a car?)

Of course, that exact day has to be the day four men walk in with machine guns and demand all the money that the tellers can give them.

Everyone is in a terrified huddle for all of five minutes until a blur of red and blue spandex comes rushing through.

Within five seconds he's rendered their guns useless, and within another ten he's got them webbed to the wall.

"You know, it's always better to ask than to take, he says, speaking in his Bronx accent. Then he goes to each person to personally make sure that they're not too shaken up, and damn if she doesn't think that's cute. Then he comes up to her, last of course.

"No scalding words this time, Ma'am?" he asked teasingly. He thinks for a second. "Miss." he amends. Michelle swears he's grinning underneath the mask. Michelle quirks a brow.

"You remember me?"

"You're sort of hard to forget." and before she asks what the hell he means by that, He's running out, swinging up the next building over.

Spider-Man remembered her.

Her. Michelle Jones. Out of the eight and a half million people in NYC, he had remembered, her. (Damn her if she wasn't fangirling a little bit). So what if she had a celebrity crush? People crushed on Sia too! And they didn't know what she looked like either!

She then retold the story to the only people at Midtown who can call her MJ, Ned Leeds and Peter Parker. Throughout the story, Peter seemed to be trying to hide a smile. She would never admit it, but she though Peter was cute. However, she knew he was still in love so Liz Allen, despite her moving away, so there was nothing there.

"What's so funny, nerd?" she asked.

"I just think it's cool you like Spider-Man." He replied.

"So does most of New York City. I'm not special, Parker." she shrugged.

"But you bench press Of Human Bondage in gym class. That makes you pretty special, MJ." He said. She cursed her heart for fluttering like a deranged teenage girly girl.

"Thanks for the compliment, dork. Now leave me alone. I have to finish Emma before the end of school." she said, turning back to the Jane Austen novel (girl power!)

"But you started the conversation...?" said a confused Ned. One glare later and he's back to talking to Peter about the new Lego Star Destroyer set they were building after school (Nerds).

Because she's Michelle fucking Jones, she gets to meet Spider-Man a fourth time.

Some creep had decided to get a little too close, but before she could get her mace out, he had pushed her against the wall. No amount of squirming could move him, he was a true least a hundred a fifty pounds heavier than her. 

She settled for screaming. The man was unbuttoning her pants when a flash of white and suddenly the man was stuck to the wall. Half a second later and Spider-Man was punching the hell out of him. He was pissed.

"How DARE you! How DARE you touch her! She is not a sex toy! She is not something for you to traumatize! Try that again on anyone and you will truly feel my wrath, you motherfucker! Next time you try something like that and I will NOT hesitate to kill you!" Spider-Man screamed in between punches.

His accent was gone. Michelle could have sworn she recognized that voice, Spider-Man with a Queens accent, but she couldn't place it (sometimes she wished she had a photographic, or rather phonographic, memory)

Finishing with a punch that knocked the guy out, Spider-Man turned to her.

"Are you alright? He didn't-"

"No. You stopped him before he did anything." Michelle said. Silence (she wasn't really sure what to say).

"Can you walk me home?" she asked.

"Yeah, of course Miss." he said.

"Michelle. My name is Michelle." she said.

"Okay Michelle."

He walked her home, all the way to her doorstep. She thanked him again. He said he was doing his duty. He swung away. Michelle officially decided she liked him.

He walked her home everyday that week, and the next, before she told him that there were eight and a half million other people that needed saving, and that she would be fine.

She still noticed that he followed her home for the next week. He wasn't that stealthy, despite obviously trying to be. She officially decided that he liked her too.

The next time she meets Spider-Man, officially the fifth time he's rescued her or someone in her immediate vicinity, she's cursing the fact that he just had to walk her home for two weeks (did he have to have a hero complex?).

Some random villain wannabe had noticed, and thought that Michelle knew who Spider-Man was. He had then kidnapped her and was now interrogating her, trying to intimidate her by blindfolding her. It wasn't working.

"Dude, even if I knew, I wouldn't tell you." She said.

"Of course you know! You're his girlfriend! And it's not dude, it's the Human Fly!" He said, removing her blindfold. Michelle doubled over, laughing. "The Human Fly" was wearing a ridiculous green and yellow spandex suit, complete with a fly mask (like dude, it's not the eighties anymore. Flashy colors out).

"Dude, you look ridiculous." She said.

"I do not! Not tell me who Spider-Man is before I kill you!" he said holding a gun.

"Mr. Fly dude. Like I said. I have no idea who he is!" Michelle yelled. She was getting really tired of this pasty white dude.

"I don't even know what Spider-Man sees in you."

"My personality?" grinned Michelle.

"Ha! Personailty my ass. You don't have a good one, and on top of that, you're not that good looking! Why would Spider-Man want you to be his girlfriend?" laughed the Human Fly. (Um, ouch?)

"I'd ask if you can see with that ridiculous mask, but the answer is obviously no if you think Michelle isn't absolutely beautiful." said a voice with a Bronx accent. Michelle placed the voice as coming from the rafters of the warehouse they were in.

The Human Fly whirled around.

"Spider-Man." he hissed.

"The one, the only." said Spider-Man, complete with a little bow.

"I'm going to kill your little girlfriend. Then I'm going to kill you." said the Human Fly. Suddenly he was behind Michelle, tilting her head back and holding a knife to her throat.

"Wrong move." Said Spider-Man with a deathly calm. A thwip and a yank later, the Human Fly was suddenly knife-less, and suddenly the Human Fky was chasing after it and the two were locked into a fight.

Getting away from the Human Fly for a moment, Spider-Man whispers something into his suit. A little spider drone comes out of the logo on his suit and made its way towards Michelle. It flew behind her and seconds later, Michelle felt the rope sliding off her wrists, and another few seconds later, the rope around her legs is also rendered useless.

"Thanks little dude." she said, despite talking to a technically inanimate object.

Spider-Man was hopping and spinning around, deftly avoiding the punches and kicks being dealt out by the Human Fly. The Human Fly in return was dodging webbing with surprisingly agile moves.

It was and endless circle.

However, Michelle Jones was smart. And that included the ability to calculate the trajectory of a chair into the arms of a red and blue superhero. (What? She went to nerd school)

"Catch Spidey!" was all the warning given, but it was warning enough. Spider-Man caught the chair and swiftly swung it at the Human Fly, knocking the middle aged man to the ground, out cold.

Spider-Man webbed up the man for good measure.

"Hey." He said, grabbing Michelle's attention. "I'm going to drop an anonymous tip to the police, then I'm going to take you home. Alright?" he said softly.

"Yeah, sounds fine." said Michelle back. She waited patiently while Spider-Man placed the call to the police. Then they're walking out the door.

"Nice throw." he said.

"Nice catch." she replied.

"Grab on?" said Spider-Man. Within moments they're flying. Another few minutes of excited gleeful whoops (Spider-Man) and a couple of terrified screams (Michelle. What? She was not used to SWINGING ON ROPES LIKE WHAT THE FU-)

"I'm going to drop you off a block away, so it's not super suspicious." said Spider-Man, landing them in an alley.

"Really? Walking me home for two weeks isn't?" she asks with a fececious tone. He laughs a little.

"People are more likely to notice me swinging in than walking you to your door." he said. His web thwipped up and he was swinging up when-

"Wait!" Michelle yelled. Spider-Man slowly dropped back down, upside-down no less.

"Yes?" he said. Breathless, almost, as if he was waiting for something. She noted his accent disappearing again. She really wished she could place it.

"How old are you?" she asked.

"Sixteen." he replied.

"That's young. And my age." she said.

"I just do what I have to do, Michelle." The way he said her name was kind of hot. What?

Solidified in the fact that he wasn't a creepy pedophile, Michelle cautiously reached for his neck, where the seam of his mask was. She slowly started pulling the mask off. He stopped her when she reached his nose. Was she really going to do this?

(Yes)

Her lips fell on his, in a nice way. It was passionate, they basically were making out. It was also a little weird, him being upside-down. Despite that, her first kiss was making out with a superhero, so she couldn't complain all that much (he was good at kissing too).

All to soon she heard sirens in the distance. He pulled away first.

"I've got to go." he said. And without another word, he was gone.

(She already missed the taste of his lips. They tasted like mango)

Michelle quickly ran the rest of the way home, hoping she'd see him again soon.

The next day at school, she found herself walking behind Ned and Peter, the two deep in conversation.

"And then she kissed me! It was like magic. I swear." Peter said.

"Dude, you've got it bad." said Ned.

"What girl had the balls to kiss you, Parker?" Michelle interrupted. Peter and Ned whirled around.

"Erm. Just this girl I know from the Stark internship." Peter said quickly. Michelle quirked a brow.

"As your friend, I deserve to know all about her." stated Michelle.

"She's kind of like you." blurted Ned. This was followed with a swift kick from Peter. Michelle's eyebrows tried to escape. 

"Oh really? how so?"

"Looks like you?" said Peter nervously.

"Poor Peter, getting kissed by girls far too attractive for him. If she really does look like me, that is." She said with a smile. She turned, walking to class, when she heard someone yell.

"Nice ass, Jones!" a decidedly male, chauvinistic asshole was catcalling her. She turned to see Skip Westcott leering at her. The fucker was known for his porn addiction, and for catcalling most girls (and some guys) in the school. Before she could fire back a retort, Peter stepped in.

"Don't objectify her, asshole. 1) you're legal, she's not, you pedo, and 2) keep your comments to yourself, you motherfucker." He hissed. Michelle froze. Motherfucker. She'd heard that word in that tone once. Spider-Man, when he was beating up her would-be rapist.

(OH MY GOD SHE KISSED PETER FUCKING PARKER)

(THAT'S WHY NED AND PETER WERE SO NERVOUS TALKING ABOUT THE GIRL)

(BECAUSE IT WAS HER! AAAAHHHHHH!)

(PETER PARKER HAD A CRUSH ON HER, NOT LIZ ANYMORE, AND SHE FUCKING KISSED HIM)

(STARK INTERNSHIP? RUNNING AROUND IN SPANDEX WAS AN INTERNSHIP?)

(DC AND HIS FLAKINESS MADE SOOOO MUCH MORE SENSE NOW)

(SHE KISSED THE FUCKING DORK)

"Chill Parker, I mean, unless you want me to comment on your fine ass too. I mean, the things we could do-"

Skip was suddenly interrupted by a fist to the face. Coming from none other than Ned Leeds.

"Don't talk about my friends that way!" He yelled. Michelle and Peter quickly dragged Ned away to an empty classroom.

"As much as we also hate that guy, you can't get suspended, Ned." said Peter.

"Sorry. I just-UGH! Who gave him the right to say stuff like that and get away with it!" yelled Ned.

"White priveledge." cut in Michelle. Ned and Peter nodded sagely. Michelle realized that is would be a good time to confront Peter.

"Hey Ned? Can I talk to Peter?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure. I'll be right outside." he said. Michelle watched him walk out, before turning to Peter.

"So when were you going to tell me you were Spider-Man?" cut in Michelle. Peter froze.

"I-uhh, How'd you figure it out?"

"The tone of voice you used when you said motherfucker. It reminded me of when Spider-Man beat up my attempted rapist." she shrugged. Peter started laughing.

"That's amazing MJ. You're amazing." he said.

"So the Stark Intership is running around in a spandex suit?"

"Well, Mr. Stark gave it to me, so that was my explanation." he said, scratching the back of his neck.

"Now about that kiss." she said. Peter blushed.

"Umm, sorry?" He said.

"Don't be sorry! I was just wondering when we would do that again, you know, right side up this time." she said boldly. Peter blushed more.

"Umm, okay. How about dinner at that Thai place near my house? I'll pick you up at seven?" said Peter nervously.

"That too, I guess." said Michelle, slightly disappointed. She stood to get up, before Peter stopped her.

"But also..." he trailed off as he pushed her into a wall, kissing her all the way to it. This kiss was heated, and passionate, and she had her leg wrapped around his leg and running her hand through his hair and-

"Gross you guys. Please find somewhere more private while I gouge my eyes out." Said Ned from the doorway. Michelle jumped, and quickly organized herself.

"Get used to it Leeds." she said, walking out the door.

"Used to it! That means it's happening more!" she heard Peter yell behind her. She grinned.

(It's not everyday someone get s to go on a date with a superhero)

(It's also not everyday that someone somehow becomes the girlfriend of a superhero after their first date)

(It's definitely not everyday someone gets kissed by a superhero)

(But hey, Michelle wasn't most people. Her everyday was everyone else's fantasy)

(And she liked it that way)

 

 

Tell me the truth, how bad was it? Nevermond don't do that. Fuck. Whatever. Leave a comment? Please nothing too mean, I'm a pretty young writer and I don't think I could handle that (sue me, I don't like criticism).

Bye, I guess? Until next time? Fuck.

See you never, unless I have an insane head canon, like this one.


End file.
